Thursday, 16 November 2017

it’s not love

i thought about what love is, and i don’t know the answer. sure, i’ve had a fair share of experiences, some good some bad, but i still don’t know what love is. i could say, love is kind. it is. but there are also days when love is rage and fire, and swear words become so comfortingly dear. it feeds the rage, it satisfies the ego. a deadly combination to feed the soul.

i think i’ve also once thought that love is selfless. how naive i was. it’s not true. at least not for me anymore. i can pretend to be selfless, but i am a selfish being. it gets tiring, when one’s needs are prioritised more than my own. i can still try to be selfless for sure, but once i start thinking about how i do not want to do it, it’s not sincere anymore. that’s not selfless, no?

people say love is when you always think about the person, when you care, when you protect, when you support, when you empower, when you comfort, when you laugh, when you cry, heck — i could freaking list all the verbs smh. i’m tired.

to be continued—

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