Friday, 17 February 2017

balance

heaps of mellow ambience tonight. probably because i've been blasting 2ne1's goodbye on repeat. perhaps that's just an excuse too. i just came to realize, i tend to watch sad movies and listen to sad songs even more when sadness starts to overshadow other emotions. i guess it's a way for me to comfort myself. as if i'm telling myself, it's okay girl you're crying because this movie evokes an ocean of blues in you. 

and somehow i don't like that fact. some people loathe sorrow, or they try so hard to shoo it away when they're starting to be sentient of their melancholia (myself included). but don't we all realize? it is totally humane. is that why so many people are continuously chasing for happiness? they want those short, fleeting moments of elation so bad they are constantly chasing it. as if they are trying so hard to replace the melancholic feelings inside them. 

god, it is humane. and it's even more humane to express them. other people may think you are weak for doing so, but i don't. i have a whole new level of admiration and respect for people who openly express their emotions, especially their melancholia. really. and a man i hold dear to my heart once told me, happiness is a scam. in this life, what's truly important is to find balance. find balance in everything. it didn't quite make sense to me back then. but now i think understand what he meant. (ps i miss you jojo)

don't be scared, embrace whatever it is we feel. it is humane. 

and,

find balance in everything. 

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